I’ve always had this middle child syndrome that I am always taken for granted. No matter what achievements or help I’ve given my family, it will never be enough because they always have their attention and affection on my Kuya or on our Bunso. I’ve always felt my siblings are unfair because they can always say no to whatever obligations we have for our parents but not me. They always get away with it. Our Bunso is already gone but don’t get me wrong, I have no plans of being the new Bunso. I will never be and I don’t want to be because that is a special place only my brother Jan can fill. Now that only the two of us remain to take care of our Mama, I still feel that I am the one left with no choice in terms of taking care of her. Maybe I am wrong but I feel that my brother always have the option to bail out on our mother. I feel this way because I haven’t really seen him go all out for our parents.
My mother is a tough woman and a lot of our relatives hate her for that. She is not that showy of her love for her boys but I’ve seen her sacrifice a lot just to give us a good life and upbringing. Today I told her of my present concerns and she offered help right away without questions. I know she did not want to see me stressed out by problems. After our talk, I’ve realised that my Mommy indeed loves me and no matter how difficult life may be, I will do everything to take care of her not because it is an obligation but because it is done out of love.